Friday, April 5, 2013

The best laid plans...

I had planned on posting here yesterday about how great the anatomy scan was.  I had plans of posting here today in celebration of marking the halfway point in this pregnancy.

But John Lennon said it best, "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans..."

Things didn't go as planned yesterday.  

Maybe I should have been suspect considering the bad feelings I've had all along.
Maybe I should have been suspect when a few weeks ago, at the impromptu ultrasound, the tech wasn't very warm and congratulatory.  I asked if there was a brain and I got a reaction I can't quite explain in words.
Maybe I should have been suspect when the ultrasound tech yesterday spent a great amount of time looking at the baby's hands and feet.  

I knew when the perinatologist said, "there is something concerning..."

The baby presents with what appears to be a choroid plexus cyst.  
A choroid plexus cyst is:

Choroid plexus cysts (CPCs) are cysts that occur within choroid plexus of the brain. The brain contains pockets or spaces called ventricles with a spongy layer of cells and blood vessels called the choroid plexus. This is in the middle of the fetal brain. The choroid plexus has the important function of producing a fluid called cerebrospinal fluid. The fluid produced by the cells of the choroid plexus fills the ventricles and then flows around the brain and the spinal cord to provide a cushion of fluid around these structures.
CPCs can form within this structure and come from fluid trapped within this spongy layer of cells, much like a soap bubble or a blister. CPCs are often called "soft signs" or fetal ultrasound "markers" because some studies have found a weak association between CPCs and fetal chromosome abnormalities.
It is believed that many adults have one or more tiny CPCs.[1] CPCs have no impact on an individual's health or development or learning. The fetal brain may create these cysts as a normal part of development. They are temporary and usually are gone by the 32nd week of pregnancy.
With atypical anatomy, a choroid plexus cyst can be a potential marker for trisomy 18 or trisomy 21-with typical anatomy, the cyst is totally benign.  In fact, Dr. Wonderful informed me that all 3 of his kids presented with them.  But the perinatologist went on to tell me she had never seen a choroid plexus cyst in the location it's located in the baby. 

Cue FREAKOUT..
The perinatologist ended up sending the image to another doctor who has studied choroid plexus cysts and his read on the scan is that this is a normal presentation.  However, I'm not put at ease because the doctor said she had never seen this presentation before.  Had I never heard those words, I would not.be.freaking.out.  But I feel like I have no choice but to take what they say with a grain of salt.  

All the optimism...I feel like I can't accept it, especially since, after all-I did have a feeling something was wrong.  If I'm so lucky to have this, typical, choroid plexus cyst be what's "wrong," then that will be amazing!  But I can't help but worry...

What if I'm right?  What if it is a trisomy? 
It doesn't quite make sense because there would be physical markers-which this baby presents with none.  But none of this is 100% sure.  

For now, I go back to remeasure the cyst on April 22nd-the cyst will hopefully appear smaller (because the brain has grown appropriately) and I can rest assured that this is most likely a benign cyst.  
We didn't discuss if it doesn't appear smaller? Bigger? 

In the meantime, I'm trying to remain optimistic as the final professional opinion was that there IS nothing to worry about...





6 comments:

  1. Hang in there- you are a strong woman with a wonderful husband to hold your hand and beautiful babies to hug and love. You will get through this and everything will be alright. Let them love and take care of you a little during this challenging time.
    You are in our thoughts and we will all wait for the good news that the doctors are right.

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  2. To worry is very human. I have heard of many of these cysts disappearing. I'm glad they're going to keep an eye on it. *HUGS*

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  3. I have a sister with trisomy 21 (more popularly known as Down syndrome) and although all popular media will tell you that everything is over mourn etc....its nothing to mourn about. Every once is every child is worth something and joyous. Its a change in plan alright, but I have faith that if that's the baby Hashem wants for you that you'll do a fantastic job.

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    1. Right now, I'm worried about the unknown. I just.want.to.know. And once I know I can adjust and plan. I have worked with a couple of kids with developmental disabilities, and have witnessed how much I cared for them and I know that my child will be no different-my child will be loved regardless. But right now, I don't know what to expect from tomorrow...

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  4. The not knowing is definitely the worst part. Even/especially in your darkest moments, you have to will yourself to believe that Hashem has a plan and it's for the best, even if turns out differently that what you hope for. If you give me your Hebrew name with your mom's, I'll recruit my friends in Passaic/Clifton to daven for you. ((hugs))!!

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  5. P.S. I just read this: "In the absence of other markers CPCs are harmless. Our doctor said he didn't even like telling people about them as it tends to create needless anxiety." I don't think that was very kind of your perinatologist!

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