History
I was told my font was kind of hard to read...thoughts?
So, I was recently asked about my feelings during the early days. Now, I must admit that those days are long behind me, and selfishly, I am just tired and cranky from a lack of sleep, puking kids, endless laundry, dishes, cleaning...you get the point. And then I'm driving in the car, alone, and then One Republic, Good Life comes on
and I take a deep breath, and I almost burst into tears when I realize just how fortunate I am. Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of where I came from and how appreciative I must be to be where I am.
When I was in high school I went on birth control as a "fad" thing. I would get my period at an expected date-no guessing, and maybe it would help my acne. When I got to college, in December of freshman year, I started bleeding through. I immediately called my GYN because no such thing had ever happened to me. They told me it was normal to call back if the problem persisted. And so it persisted....until the summer; I was bleeding for a week at a time, 2-3 times a month. With only days in between bleeding episodes.
During my summer vacation, I paid a visit to my GYN. She did an internal exam and took some blood. Later that week I got a call from her nurse telling me that my levels were too high and they referred me to an endocrinologist. The endocrinologist chose to do no additional testing. I had requested to be treated without birth control. I knew that I wanted a true diagnosis and a treatment plan that did not involve birth control to control the bleeding, because how would I conceive when the time came?
The endocrinologist put me on Metformin. I did not receive any medical reasoning as to why that was the desired treatment plan. I began Metformin in July, and upon returning to school in late August, I had lost about 20 lbs. Not only did my bleeding continue, it worsened. I was instructed that as long as my bleeding was continuing, I should up my dose of the metformin, until I reach the maximum dosage. Well, the one and only day I took the prescribed amount, I ran back to my dorm from class to puke. I knew then and there something was not right with my treatment plan.
I was taking a philosophy class that semester, a requirement of the school, when I was up one night studying (err...I mean drinking coffee and socializing with a classmate) and I do what I always do-I share TMI...I told her all about my bleeding problems and she told me that her father was a reproductive endocrinologist-a who? Yeah, I had never heard of such a thing.
Reproductive Endocrinology is a fellowship out of OB/GYN. OB/GYNs do not receive training in treating infertility to the degree of a reproductive endocrinologist. Hence the reproductive endocrinology fellowship-which is extremely competitive btw.
Anyway...I got a special call one night while I was back home for vacation. I told him everything that had happened which was when he told me, "I think I know what's wrong." He informally diagnosed me with polycistic ovarian syndrome. Of course I was to go into his clinic as soon as I made my way back from vacation and undergo more extensive testing. Oh yeah, during that phone call he told me that my treatment was birth control and that when it came time for pregnancy, I would need clomid. I had been dating my husband for a few months and we were already talking engagement-and now I'm labeled infertile? The dr. didn't think it would be a big deal, "just a little pill." But I wondered why my boyfriend would want to enter into a relationship knowing such an important part of his future was questionable. I cried the whole night and ignored all his phone calls. When I finally did answer, he asked what the dr. said. And bless his heart (btw, he turns 28 tomorrow!), his answer was, "it sounds like the dr. thinks it's fine, so it's ok, it's not a big deal." Now, don't get all up in arms that we would abort our relationship due to known hardships ahead. But let's be realistic-why would you knowingly enter into a very financially, emotionally, and stressful situation when you can just walk away? Some people do; I have seen friends get their hearts broken because their guy couldn't handle the potential outlook. Those friends are now happily married and awaiting their miracle :) I did go for additional testing and I did have polycistic ovaries, but upon the results of the 3-hour glucose tolerance test, it was determined that Metformin was not necessary, nor the way to successfully treat my frequent bleeding.
My husband and I were married in August of that year and in May of the following year we decided we were ready to start out family. Up until this point, I really did not give my infertility any thought. I knew that I needed to be on birth control to control my bleeding (I will do an additional post on the Laws of Family Purity, which is a strict law in Judais for guiding/regulating marital relations based on the woman's cycle. This which will lend you a better understanding as to why properly addressing and treating my bleeding were crucial) but it was kind of an out of site out of mind. I couldn't pay much thought to it because I wasn't actively trying. I had not read any blogs, I did not know any friends who had gone through infertility, I had no one to talk to. I was so naive and really anxious to actually have our first baby. I thought it would be so simple..."just a little pill."
I will do a post on our actual cycling history next....
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