Wednesday, January 4, 2017

And We're Off!

After weeks of anticipation, stimming for IVF #2 begins tonight!  



Yesterday was my baseline, and I was given my instructions for tonight.  
Of course nothing is ever easy, so here's where we stand now.  

I was on birth control for a cycle; I took my last pill December 30, and I was supposed to get a period. However, in typical fashion, I was actually bleeding for a week while on the pill.  Now that I've stopped the pill, I'm not bleeding. #inserteyeroll #nicejob #mybodyisawesomeandfollowsdirections 
Ok ok, enough with the hashtags.  My body is awesome, of course, and is going to do wonderful things this month!!!  

It was possible for the bleeding episode of last week to have been enough lining that I would be ok without a period this week, but, the ultrasound revealed my uterine lining is 6mm, where it needs to be 3mm.  I was threatened, but I don't think my body really cares, that if I don't start bleeding by Friday, when I return for monitoring, "I'm going in and getting it!" 
I was a little concerned with what that entailed exactly, but when he told me he would go in, just like he does for the biopsies, and suction it out, I actually thought about it and decided that sounded pretty dang awesome.  Who wouldn't want their monthly suctioned out?!? I mean, I would totally pay money for that on a regular basis! No bleeding, no cramping, no tampons, no pads...hello side business? Not for me of course.  
As of now, there's no period in sight, so I'm just anticipating some Friday suctioning.  

Tonight, I take two vials of menopur, 150 of gonal f, and .3 of low dose hcg.  Thankfully, it can all be mixed into one syringe and given as one injection.  
It all seems a little overwhelming, but it's slowly coming back to me. I actually enjoy mixing all the medications, it's kind of fun to feel like a chemist. I've also gotten over my fear of the injections, and as of a few months ago, I give them to myself. 
It's quite liberating.  

Last week, I was having second thoughts about going through with a fresh cycle. Mainly because of the potential to fail.  If this fails now, I don't know what our next step will be and it feels like a lot of pressure is riding on this and that's not a good feeling. I want to go through this month without having expectations for what the result will be, but also what it needs to be.  Although it is possible to walk away from any IVF cycle with no embryos to transfer, that's not a likely option for several reasons: my age, my history, and my husband's history.
I have no reason to think we won't end up with one embryo to transfer.  

And, anticipation is always worse then actually going through the actual anticipated event.  Now that I'm officially in it, there's no backing out now and it feels fine.  I presently don't feel emotionally attached, I don't have any expectations, and I'm just taking it all in.  

And so tonight, it begins.

You can tune in LIVE on Facebook to watch my nightly shots.  Unfortunately, I haven't found a better platform for nightly documentation that allows viewers to watch once recording is finished.  Another unfortunately is I can't Facebook LIVE from the blog Facebook page.  I do plan on recording on a camera as well in hopes of being able to create a documentary of this months journey.  




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