Sometimes my intuition freaks other people out, sometimes it freaks me out! But the truth is, how do you know the difference between an intuition and just being nervous, or anxious? In this case, I think it's a little of both...
I had been having a lot of itching on the palms of my hands since before I was pregnant. I was worried about it, because it didn't seem normal, and I continuously mentioned it to my husband. There are blessings and curses to having a husband that's a doctor-usually he can be reassuring, but sometimes, you know too much and you worry in an extreme way...that's me-extreme worrier, always nervous, always anxious, especially with this pregnancy, which I've talked about before. Anyway, when I switched OBs, and I already mentioned we did not click, I requested a blood test to check my bile levels. He begrudgingly agreed, called me sometime after, and reassured me my levels were within the normal range. Done.
Fast forward more than a month, I transfer to a new OB. The first appointment was with her nurse practitioner because by the time I made the switch, I was needing another appointment too soon for her to fit me in her schedule. The nurse practitioner happened to be great, I felt completely comfortable, and I figured I'd sail through the rest of the pregnancy feeling confident in my care. However, while at this appointment, I brought up some of the same questions I asked the first OB. Things like, how long do you let women stay pregnant/what's your induction policy, will they follow previous post birth plans put in place by other medical professionals...let me explain: I had undiagnosed PUPPS with Moshe, which I believe turned into hormonal hives for three weeks after he was born. However, at the time, I saw a dermatologist and nothing but time helped these hives go away. When I was pregnant with Dovy, convinced I was allergic to the epidural, my OB sent me to an allergist/immunologist. She determined I was not allergic to the epidural, rather my hives were just hormonal. She suggested I receive a dose of IV steroids post birth. My doctor was on board, and followed the allergists' protocol for my second birth. With Hannah, I was in a new hospital, with a new team of doctors. They followed this protocol, it was never questioned. When I mentioned it to this new OB, he questioned it. He wanted to know why my steroids were through the IV and not oral? He also had not heard of IV steroids being given as a preventative measure. I am not willing to compromise on this-whether it was a fluke or not, I have managed to escape from post-birth hives two subsequent times, and I would like for that to happen this time, as I don't think I can handle hives post this baby. That discussion led into my current itching situation and the blood test the old OB did not want to order. However, due to a progression in the itching, the nurse practitioner wanted to re-run the blood test...she had a feeling the numbers would indicate an increase in bile levels beyond what is normal.
Several weeks ago, I was in the shower-my quiet place I go to escape, when I instantly became nervous. Now, sometimes my fears are specific, and other times they aren't. This time, they were specific to: what if I have a stillborn? What if I made it this far only to have it taken away from me? What if I have a stillborn and I need my Dr again?!? He's in NY! What will I do??? The nurse practitioner re-checked my bile levels, and I assumed because they were normal in the past, why wouldn't they be normal now? Friday afternoon, about two weeks ago, I get a phone call from the nurse practitioner, asking me to call her so we could discuss my blood test results.
Bile levels: 12
Cutoff: 10
Complications: fetal distress and stillbirth
Plan: Ursodial three times a day, weekly non-stress tests
I don't necessarily think I had an intuition about this-I was going to be nervous about a stillborn because that's what's to be nervous about in the third trimester. If my water broke, ok, it was beyond viability. But a cord knot was the time-sensitive concern now that I was far enough along.
If you follow me on Instastories, you know I've now had two non-stress tests, both have been fine. However, because of the risk of still born, I will be induced between 36-38 weeks.
If you're keeping track, you know I'm 34 weeks pregnant!
Induction: 2-3 weeks...
The countdown is on: 19 days and counting!
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