Sunday, November 20, 2016

Transfer #5

On Friday, November 18, 2016, our last embryo was was thawed and transfered. 

I am moved to tears as I think about that chapter coming to a close. 
When the embryologist came in and announced, I have thawed the last embryo...I think it was a surreal moment for all of us in the room. I don't think anyone thought the thawing of my last embryo would have been such a solemn event. 
Let's hope this is a good one, he said. 

I arrived, by myself, around 9:40am for a 10:00 transfer. A few minutes later, they had me changing in the dressing room.  Unfortunately I just discovered I was too late to save the images from my instastory.  #damn 
But, I just want to say, I have every pair of transfer socks!
Anyway, I then moved into the room where we signed papers, discussed the beautiful embryo, and then we made our way to the transfer room. 

You're supposed to have a full bladder at the time of the transfer because the bladder helps the uterus show up on the ultrasound, which helps with placement.  Again, through the cervix and uterus a catheter goes, and then the embryo with fluid is injected.

 It's hard to follow on the screen, but you can almost feel the tension in the room...

Afterwards I was wheeled into recovery where I had to stay for 30 minutes. Then, I got my first progesterone in oil shot, more on that later, and they wanted me to stay for another 30 minutes. 
At this time, since I was post 30 minutes of the transfer, I hopped off the bed to go to the bathroom, but wasn't able to climb back on because it was too high, so the nurse came down and saw my feet sticking out at the bottom of the curtain and then accused me of trying to escape like a little child.  #whoops 

I was able to leave around 11:30 to head back to Baltimore and made it with just an hour to spare before Shabbos. I have blood work on Wednesday to check my estrogen and progesterone levels, and then my pregnancy test is Monday November 28.  Dealing with a two week wait over a holiday weekend is never good, since you don't want to be wallowing in self pity when you have family over.  Therefore, I'll refrain from testing until the last minute, I hope... 

This chapter has brought about three children, it was filled with hope and thoughts about the future, but it also came with a lot of heartbreak and uncertainty, especially as we await the result of this cycle.  I have made so many friendships through this journey, and as hard as it is at times, I wouldn't change it for the world. 
While this journey is not over, it has certainly brought us to a crossroads, and only time will tell which path we'll take and where, and when we'll emerge. 

So because our hope is set on what is yet to be seen, we patiently keep on waiting for its fulfilment. Rom 8:25   Richard Rohr writes, “IF YOU ARE NOT trained in how to hold anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, how to entrust and wait—you will run—or more likely you will “explain.” Not necessarily a true explanation, but any explanation is better than scary liminal space. Anything to flee from this terrible “cloud of unknowing.”  CLICK THE IMAGE TO KEEP READING:

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