I'm kind of in a bad place right now, so I don't have so much to say, other than just an update... I'm typing this while I shove my face, wishing it was with donuts. Because, #nationaldonutday and I don't have a freaking donut! I think I'm going to go back to being my pessimistic self-I was so convinced it had worked. But then, on Thursday, by the scrunched up look on my doctor's face, I knew it wasn't over.
You still didn't pass a large amount of tissue..see? as he turns the black and white ultrasound machine towards me.
Cytotec is 90% successful...
Although I passed the gestational sac, it's just as important to pass the lining.
I finally mustered up the courage to ask about cycling again in August....silence, a swivel in the chair to look at the calendar, and finally a "yeah..."
But, I'm not even going to talk about those plans now because I'm so sure I'll go in Thursday to be told I need a D&C anyway.
I'm now taking methylergonovine, which is a really small pill, taken orally, three times a day for three days. Because I was no longer cramping, his thought was that I wouldn't spontaneously be passing anymore tissue, so this pill is supposed to cause uterine contractions, which will help expel what's left. So far, I've had three pills and I'm relatively cramp free-which is why I'm not holding my breath.
But, I need to stop throwing a pity party for myself, stop stuffing my face with crap, pull up my big girl panties (including the big girl pad) and go back to living my life. Hopefully starting on Sunday I can go back to my normal routine. I can tell the pregnancy hormone is leaving my system as I don't have any cravings and I'm able to tolerate my regular foods, not nearly as tired, and no breast tenderness. So, I'm hoping that beginning Sunday, I can resume normal life again.
And hope it continues smoothly that way for the next couple of months!
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